seabelle:

I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

shamitomita:

cyberho:

Dick riding IS NOT a form of transportation!!!!!!!! 

not with that attitude

yinx:

june has had enough

yinx:

june has had enough

pineplapple:

This is hands down the best parody twitter ever

halaalpussy:

addictly:

I CANT BREATHE

WUKH WUKH WUKH LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG ???!

atumfinnpeakbest:

applebottomclaudiajeans:

capekalaska:

killdeercheer:

sizvideos:

Neil DeGrasse Tyson Ruins Your Zombie Fantasies Forever - Video

Love this bit

"just sayin’"

He’s thought about it though. One of the greatest minds of our generation sat down one day and was like “wait, could zombies exist?” And then he did the science thing and was like “nah we’re good.”

I’ve been telling people, BE READY FOR THE TERMINATORS

mydogsnokes:

i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean

godtier-equius:

i M LAUHGING SO HAR DI DONT UNDERSTAND HWATS GOING ON LIEK???? HE S NOT HITITNG HIS HEAD ON ANYTHGIN OR SLPPIGN AND IM GONNA ACTUALYL PASS OUT LAUHGING SO HARD

godtier-equius:

i M LAUHGING SO HAR DI DONT UNDERSTAND HWATS GOING ON LIEK???? HE S NOT HITITNG HIS HEAD ON ANYTHGIN OR SLPPIGN AND IM GONNA ACTUALYL PASS OUT LAUHGING SO HARD

bombing:

turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place

midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

midesko:

Retail jobs summed up

condom:

damn

condom:

damn

aristocrap:

posting a selfie like

image